Vivienne Leaw, 2012, Singapore
When I started attending City Harvest Church in 2008, I was about to get married to a man whom I had dated for one and a half years. He was an unbeliever and he did not like the fact that I went to church. In fact, he would often challenge the existence of God. And as I grew in the Lord, I found it more and more difficult to communicate with him and I wondered how I could live for the rest of my life with someone who did not know God. As I prayed, I knew I had to let go of the relationship. It was not an easy decision as I was already 31 years old; but I knew that I would never find happiness with a man who did not share my belief in Jesus. With that, I ended the relationship and chose to follow God wholeheartedly.
I prayed that God would send me a godly man. In my prayer, I included other specific requirements, such as the ideal height, built, godly qualities, and so on. After more than three years, my prayer was not answered; instead, the Lord told me to sign up for SOT in 2012. I sensed that God wanted to do a work in my life through SOT and so I signed up for it in 2012. That year, my family members all came to know the Lord—one after another.
Meanwhile, for the next couple of years, I continued to pray the same prayer for a life partner, with all the specific requirements. One day, while I was doing my quiet time, God, for the first time, spoke to me about my husband through 1 Sam 16:7 & 12, “But the Lord said to Samuel, Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. So he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, with bright eyes, and good looking. And the Lord said, Arise, anoint him, for this is the one.”
Was God trying to tell me not to focus on “his appearance or at the height of his stature”? With some disappointment, I let go of my dream to marry a tall, dark, handsome man; but I took great comfort in verse 12—that although he might not be tall, he would be good looking!
From then on, I changed the way I prayed. I committed my future to the Lord, trusting that God would bringing someone He’d handpicked for me. For the next two years, I served in my cell group, leading praise and worship, and sharing the offering message. I gave Bible study and built relationship with others. Some of my cell group members asked me how was I going to meet someone if I was constantly serving in church? My reply to them was that I trusted God, and He will make it happen somehow. So over the next few years, I prayed the same prayer for God to bring the right partner into my life.
One day as I was praying, the Lord spoke to me to rise up and be a cell group leader. I questioned God about this call. Here I was praying for a godly husband and God was calling me to be a cell group leader? By now, at 37, it was already hard for me to find a prospective life partner. If I were to become a cell group leader, that may be even more intimidating to a man. As I was wrestling with God, I heard Him ask, “Child, what if the man that you’re praying for never comes? What if you remain single for the rest of your life? Will you still follow Me?” This question exposed my fear and revealed something in my heart—the “perfect man” had become my idol all these years without me realising it.
I repented before the Lord and for the first time, six years into my singlehood, I prayed a very different prayer. I told God, “Even if I remain single all my life, You are all I need and You are enough for me. I will serve You all the days of my life!” That day I finally understood the story of how Mary broke the alabaster jar, wept before the Lord and wiped His feet with her tears. She anointed Jesus with the fragrant oil.
On January 2016, after eight years of being single and serving the Lord, I finally met the man who would become my husband. I had ordered something through my friend, Joanne, who was also a cell group leader. She sent her member, Don, to do the delivery. Don appeared on my doorstep and the rest was history.
On the day of my wedding, as I walked down the aisle, I lifted my eyes and saw Don standing there. The Lord spoke to my heart and said, “As you were waiting for your husband, I too, was waiting for you—to surrender your heart to Me wholeheartedly.” What a faithful, loving God we serve! Today, both Don and I are cell group leaders in City Harvest Church. All glory to God!