Evelyn, Tan 2013, Singapore
I started attending Harvest Kidz at the age of 10. Back then, I was a shy, overweight child with a love for the Chinese language and Mandopop, such as Taiwanese drama series, variety shows and karaoke. During our church’s Crossover Project, we invited a number of local and Taiwanese celebrities to share their testimonies and in one of the Emerge services, a seed was planted in my heart.
There was a season during Emerge when we invited a number of local and Taiwanese celebrities to share their testimonies in our church. This planted a seed in my heart and I told God that I wanted to be involved in the Chinese media industry one day. From that point, God impressed this desire upon my heart multiple times.
Upon graduation, however, I didn’t enter into the Chinese media industry immediately. I had many dreams, among which was to work in church. I worked in church full time for four years as a receptionist, and later an administrator in SOT. I loved it and I especially enjoyed engaging with the students from China. For a while, I forgot my dream of working in the Chinese media industry. Then one day, out of the blue, I saw an advertisement about a radio competition organised by my favourite radio station—YES 933—and felt a prompting in my heart to submit my entry. As it was my first time taking part in any competition, I was surprised when I got into the finals. I became a part-time DJ and later, a door was miraculously opened for me to become a full-time DJ.
This was the start of a new and a difficult learning journey, with an extremely steep learning curve. My friends would know that I am very much an introvert and would prefer to stay out of the limelight. Initially, I thought the role of a DJ is perfect for me because people would only get to hear my voice and furthermore, most of the attention would be on my guests in the studio—not me.
Little did I realise that the Radio Industry was re-branding the job scope of radio DJs in order to move with the times. To be more industry relevant, DJs are now considered Content Creators and Personalities. During my progress evaluations with my bosses, they often tell me that even though I am a good DJ, my personality was not loud and outstanding enough to gain the attention of sponsors and the listeners. As someone with high self-expectations, I felt that in order to be at the cutting edge in the industry, I needed to gain as much stage experience as possible. So I began acquiring more skills such as singing, acting, establishing my social media account, creating better video content, editing skills, etc. In my first year as a DJ, I packed my schedules with many events and concerts to attend. I was afraid that if I did not have enough exposure, I would lose my relevance and end up losing opportunities.
Unfortunately, because of the hustle lifestyle and the need to create an online persona, I became worn out mentally, emotionally, and physically. I realised that I was still trying to figure out who I am and did not recognise who I was becoming. I was so worn out that my health started to break down and I was hospitalised for chest inflammation, fever, and gastric pain. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t move my hands and lie down to sleep for days. The doctor suspected that I had pericarditis (an inflammation around the heart) but couldn’t detect anything unusual on my ECG and heart scan. He then asked me if I was stressed. My first thought was, “No, that cannot be possible. I can’t consider myself stressed compared to the other more successful media friends who have more accomplishments than me.” At that moment, I realised that I had been making unhealthy comparisons with others. This made me very disillusioned and the first thought was to quit this industry.
The Lord brought me back to a time before my hospitalisation, when I was at my cell group meeting. My cell group leader, Xiaoting, led us in a time of waiting upon the Lord to impress a Chinese character on our hearts. For example, Xiaoting felt that the word impressed on her heart was火, or “fire”. The Chinese character for this word looks like a person holding up both hands to worship God. When it came to my turn, without much hesitation, I chose the Chinese word 慢 which means “slow”. The character 慢 is made up of four individual characters, namely,心 (heart),日 (day),目(eye),and 又 (again).The Holy Spirit reminded me that He speaks in a still, small voice, and it’s only when I slow down, can my heart see God, again and again, day after day. （唯有慢下来，我的（心）才能一天（又）一天（日）的看见（目）神。
With that recollection, I know the Lord was prompting me to slow down and partner with Him everyday. Success is good, but it should not come at the expense of one’s health and definitely not one’s relationship with God.
When Ps Kong started preaching on Slow-down Christianity, it struck a chord with me and confirmed what God was speaking to me about. For a few years, I was influenced by the hustling culture and how the world defines success; but now, I understand slowing down to mean still working hard and yet trusting in God’s perfect timing. Not only am I mentally and emotionally more stable, I am at peace with myself. I’ve even gone back to the habit of journaling what God says to me throughout the day. When it comes to work, I am more selective of the activities and events I participate in. I am able to reject gigs that don’t align with my values without the fear of losing out. Even when I face rejections and closed doors at work, I bounce back faster, with a sense of security in the Lord.
During Covid, there was a sudden surge of interest in the topic of mental wellness. I had the opportunity to create and host a podcast with celebrities and healthcare professionals to address about this issue. By the grace of God, when the first season was broadcasted, my programme was ranked no. 23 on the Spotify list. And now we are already in Season 2.
In the past 4 years, my radio listenership has been good, and I even clinched my first TV commercial with a supplement brand recently. The most encouraging thing for me is the feedback from my listeners who’ve commented that there’s something different about me and how my content has helped them a lot.
I am thankful to God that I am able to live out my dream to be salt and light in the marketplace. I hold on to His promise to me in Psalms 37:5, to “Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.” May this be His promise to you as well.