Devotion by Isaiah Kuan (Pastoral Staff)
Ps 127:3 (NKJV)
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.
The verses starts off with the word – “behold”, which has the literal translation of: “be sure to see”. Or one can also translate it as “take note, do not miss it.”
I have read this verse many times in my life as a Christian. And in fact, I have prayed this verse many times when I was a kid. Yes, you read rightly, as a kid myself I have been taught to pray for my future wife and my future children.
Do you see your children as your heritage or your promise, or your blessing from the Lord?
I have 2 daughters aged 17 and 14 this year. Technically I began my fatherhood journey when my first child was born. However, I believe that I only truly start to understand fatherhood in 2020 when all of us have to go through the COVID-19 pandemic. It was at such a time, I started to understand Ps137:3, in a deeper way.
Singapore had to go through a period of “Circuit Breaker” where all outdoor activities have been stopped and everyone must stay at home. It was a terrible time for many, but for families, I thought it was a blessing in disguise. It’s like the 2 girls serving a “home detention” with me for 2 months. No where to go, no one else to talk to, just me and my wife with our 2 daughters.
It was during such a time, that I finally had a chance to slow down, and enjoy the blessing of my life, the fruit of my labor. All these years prior to 2020, I have been working hard and spending hours in ministry, to provide for my family and in some ways, trying to show my girls the commitment of serving the Lord. Nothing wrong in what I did. Just that I may have not seen the real needs of my daughters from their perspective.
What I have learnt in that 2 months was to enjoy what God has given to me. God did not give Joey and Jayne (my daughters) to any other family. He did not ordain any man to be their father. I was chosen to be their father and they, my heritage. That is so powerful! That revelation totally changed my view on fatherhood. I will continue to provide and do my best to them a good life, support their decisions, celebrate their successes. But more than all these, I will live my life as a father who enjoys my blessings of having Joey and Jayne.
Simple tips on how to enjoy your fatherhood:
- Start a hobby with your child. During COVID, I started to listen to some of the K-pop girl bands that my daughters liked. That’s when I picked up names like, New Jeans, IVE, ITZY, Everglow, and many more. I even downloaded their songs in my Spotify playlist so that both my girls and I can have moments to enjoy the music and laugh over my “stupid” dance moves.
- Create memories with your child. I have always enjoyed photography, so I thought why not pull my girls along to take photos of nice sunsets in Singapore. We have been doing it for a while and it was truly a fulfilling time spent and precious memories captured together with my daughters.
- Spend time with your child. Love is spelt as “time”. Our kids need not have more money from us, they want more time with us. No need to plan big getaways, or expensive meals. We enjoyed the best time together around our dining table snacking and sharing with one another the things that happened in our lives. The girls will share about their school friends and studies. I will share about my work and ministry.
The above tips are just my personal take away. The key thing here is, learn to put aside time to enjoy your child.
To end off this devotion, I want to share a testimony with you.
Jos 24:15b (NKJV)
But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Jos24:15 has been one my prayers for years. Initially all I pray for is that my family (wife and kids) to be in the same church and serving the Lord. We have done it, and I’m eternally grateful to God who held us together in this blessing. Then I got “greedier” and started to pray that my girls will one day be “fulltime” church staff too, like my wife and me.
I have heard of many stories where a minister’s child detest coming into fulltime ministry because they felt that serving God means lesser time for the family. It would be so sad if my girls felt the same way too.
So, one day, during one of our late-night talks, the topic of discussion somehow moved to being a fulltime church staff. Honestly, my heart leaped a bit, and I was preparing myself for the moment of truth. To be surprised (or I shouldn’t be), both my girls are very open to be fulltime serving the Lord in our church one day. Praise the Lord!
My girls did not feel that ministry has taken their parents away from them. In fact, they wanted to live their lives like ours. Serving God and loving family. My heart melted that night, because I know, God has indeed given me my heritage in Joey and Jayne. And we had a foretaste of Joey working as an intern in CHC for just about 2 months, before she enrolled into Junior College. She still has fond memoires of working with all the people whom she grew up calling “aunties”. All glory to Jesus!
Fatherhood is choice! You can choose to make it a fun and fulfilling journey. You can be the best father who loves the heritage that God has given to you!
