Vincent Tan, SOT2010, Singapore
I’m a full-time pastoral staff with City Harvest Church since February 2022. Prior to joining full-time ministry, I was working at Singapore Management University as an alumni relations manager, and before that, I’ve worked in the transport, social services and education sectors for 10 years.
It was when I was in the School of Theology in 2010 when I first received the calling to serve the Lord full-time. Somehow I felt that it was not the Lord’s timing yet; so I decided to put that vision aside and pursue my university degree. Thereafter, I planned to work in the marketplace upon graduation. Like many of my peers, I wanted to live out a typical “young adult” lifestyle of chasing and climbing the corporate ladder and earning a high salary. Corporate titles mattered a lot to me, and I would often be envious of my peers who were already having the titles of “Senior Manager” or “Assistant Director”, wondering why I was still an “Assistant Manager” and “Manager” that was not even managing a team. Getting a “sizable” salary mattered too, because I was a man consumed by wanderlust, hoping to spend every cent I earned to see the great, big world out there. In spite of this, I was always mindful and thankful that the Lord was prospering the work of my hands in whichever sector I worked in.
As I went about my career, the Lord’s calling to serve Him in full-time ministry kept nagging at the back of my mind and in my heart. Although my work was impactful and meaningful, I couldn’t help but feel that there was more to my life’s purpose than what I was doing. One moment I’d be running down the altar responding to God’s call; yet, another moment I’d be feeling very conflicted with the prospect of a pay cut and the question of how to provide for my family. I had started to think that this dream or vision was not going to come to past. The dream was given in 2010 and already, 9 years have passed. I resigned to the thought that maybe God had a different plan for me.
In 2019, my girlfriend and I got engaged and were preparing for our wedding. Aside from the substantial wedding costs, we were also faced with other aspects of adulting, such as buying our resale flat, renovations, furnishings—all of which wiped out our combined savings. Whenever I broached the topic on going full-time, my wife’s reply would be that the Lord would also confirm to her. Soon after, COVID-19 hit and all our lives were put on hold. In 2021, God spoke to us in our own version of “silence and solitude”. I was quarantined at a facility after coming into close contact with a Covid-positive reservist mate while my wife was alone at home for two weeks. One of the mornings, my wife woke up in tears because she dreamt that I passed away in an accident. She did a video call to check in with me and I told her to pray and ask the Lord for an interpretation. The next night, the Lord gave her a second dream in which she saw a tribute video of my life like a flashback, made by a youth who thanked me for making a difference in his life. As she prayed about it, my wife knew that the dreams were a confirmation from God that it was time for me to take that leap of faith.
Meanwhile, my responsibilities at work increased, along with opportunities to embark on projects that were very impactful and meaningful. However, I grew more and more restless with a sense of purposeless. It felt like the Lord had closed the heavens over my life. By then, Pastor Aries Zulkarnain had already asked me on three occasions (from 2019 to 2021) if I had considered serving the Lord full-time, and to just trust in the Lord. I felt like Simon Peter who denied Jesus three times and I asked myself, “Is being obedient to God more important than money, career, and ambition?” After much prayer, I decided in my heart that “enough is enough”, and I needed to stop running away from the call of God in my life. It was time to obey God and live 100% for Jesus.
Soon after, everything started to move very quickly. I resigned from my job in December 2021, and didn’t stick around to wait for my performance bonus (usually about 2-3 months). Logically, this didn’t make sense and it was painful, but we decided to take that step of faith to trust in the Lord. As borders started to open, my wife and I decided to take a much-awaited 3-week holiday. To our amazement, the Lord spoke to us through this trip to continually reassure us about this move. Out of the 18 days in Europe, six to seven days were hit with severe foggy conditions. I did a little Bible study, and it was interesting to note that fog (clouds) speaks of the Lord’s complete provision—He was the pillar of cloud by day to the Children of Israel. In Geography, we learn that fog is the condensation of water vapour to water droplets—which speaks of abundance (of rain and water). And if signs and wonders weren’t enough, on the weekend before I officially signed my employment contract with the church, I received three prophetic words/encouragements about this move—all within 12 hours!
God works in amazing ways. My last day on the job was 14 Feb, and it was also the day that my wife received her bonus letter. Prior to this, I had been casually confessing that she would receive 12 months bonus, much to her amusement. When she calculated the actual amount, it wasn’t 12 months of her salary, but it totalled up to 12 months of my new salary in church. In hindsight, I probably should have been more specific in my confession. In any case, this news helped to further reassure us that our financial needs could be managed even with the forgoing of bonuses as well as a pay cut. Furthermore, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my wife’s heart that He is indeed our Provider and He had “paid” my entire year’s salary upfront. It was a timely reminder for the both of us of His faithfulness and that we can trust in His providence every step of the way.
Alumni, regardless of whether you’re in the marketplace or full-time ministry, I believe that true fulfilment is when we live out the purpose and will of God. There will be a peace, a leading, and a gentle guiding from Him. We can chase after an elusive career progression and exorbitant pay increments and success, yet never live out the will of God in our lives. Most importantly, know that God Himself is truly enough!