Wong Shih-Ying, SOT2020, Singapore
I started attending City Harvest Church since the age of 10. I was always on fire for the Lord and for many years since I joined a cell group, whenever I saw the School of Theology promotional trailer played on the screen and whenever we turned to our neighbours and said, “See you at SOT next year”, my heart always skipped a beat. I was excited and wished that time could pass quickly so that I could enrol into SOT.
When I was finally eligible to sign up for SOT, things took a turn for me. For the first time, I experienced the start of a spiritual dryness which continued to last for two years. During this time, I could not feel God’s presence and I felt so empty. I found that I no longer had the desire to go to SOT. My parents were surprised at my change of heart as they bore witness to how I would tell them every year that I wanted to go to SOT. My parents strongly encouraged me to go, saying that they would fully sponsor me. With reluctance, I complied nonetheless.
I dragged myself through SOT 2017 like it was a routine. I was unmotivated and clouded by negative thoughts and doubts in my head, like “where is God?” and “maybe I should quit.”. But SOT offered me more than what I withheld from it, providing the presence of God daily with praise and worship, strengthening my faith with the Word of God, and embracing me with a tight community of people on fire for the Lord. It was a daily battle and I made it through in the end, graduating only with a Certificate of Completion (COC).
I can only say that it was by God’s grace that He kept me in His house despite my spiritual dryness and thoughts of giving up. Then, in the middle of 2019, a breakthrough happened when I attended WR Zone’s Watchmen Conference. I was prayed for by Ps Eileen Toh during the conference and memories of how she prayed for me in Harvest Kidz came flooding back. God brought me back to the moment my dryness started, and showed me how much He longed to draw near to me each time I cried out for Him. I was enlightened to the goodness of God that even though I could not feel His presence, He was always there watching over me. The years of spiritual dryness melted away that instant.
WR Zone’s Watchmen Conference in 2019
With many regrets from SOT 2017, I wanted to give it my best and do it right this time. I wanted to have the full SOT experience and was convicted to grow in the Word, encounter the Lord, and simply to fall in love with Him all over again. I felt a tremendous sense of peace and assurance to put aside time and my own money to enroll in SOT again. Many were skeptical about my decision and when COVID-19 hit and lessons went online, I too, a little doubtful. But I trusted that God always had the best in mind.
And SOT 2020 was certainly a unique experience that was unlike any other. I was blessed and privileged to be a part of it. While some may think that the COVID-19 batch was “short changed” because it was conducted online, this could not be further from the truth. SOT 2020 was a batch with a purpose. For many of the overseas students, it showed them a new way to grow their churches and reach the remote parts of their hometown. For me, I learnt how to build my own altar and what it means to walk with the Lord when everything else I’ve ever known—weekly live services, ministry, church community—is stripped away. There was only Him and nothing else; and in it I found great joy and peace.
Where previously in SOT, the altar was built for us daily during every morning praise and worship in Jurong West Church. But now, we needed to learn to press in on our own, to build our own altars and bring down His presence into our homes and rooms as we attended lessons online. And God never failed to show up. This was the greatest take away from SOT 2020 that will last a lifetime.
I am no longer dependent on others to bring down the Lord’s presence and I know now, deep in my heart, He is always there even though I may not feel Him or see His hands upon my life. With every trial, I know He always has a purpose in mind, and loves me deeply. Eventually, despite the extra discipline needed, I am glad to say I finally graduated with an Advanced Certificate of Theology, scoring well for all my papers.
Fast forward to 2023, I’ve graduated from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (RMIT) with a Bachelor in Business with Distinction among the Top 15 in my cohort. The first time I’m top for anything. Praise the Lord!